Izaya's Blog
by Alternative Randomness
Summary: Izaya Orihara here, and look, I've started a blog too! Now, my lovely humans, I'm open to all questions so come and open up to me. Let's chat
1. Intro

_**Alright, now, before you all flame or troll me about how I stole this idea or anything, I didn't. **_

_**I asked 'Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay' the creator of the fic 'Shizuo's blog' if I could have the permission to use her idea and make an Izaya version and she agreed. **_

_**I give full credit of the idea to her. Go check out her blog since we'll be doing a few little things here and there between our two~ **_

_**Anyway, I don't own Durarara and I technically don't own the idea for this, however, I have asked permission to use it. Enjoy~**_

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><p>Wah~ Hello my lovely humans! Guess who has decided to share some time with you today? That's right! It is I, Orihara Izaya.<p>

Now, I caught wind that my dear personification, Shizu-chan, had made a blog, correct? Well~ I decided to make one too~

Ahaha~ So, my lovely humans, feel free to ask some questions, any and every type. I'll try to answer them all as best as I can for my beloved humans.

So, ask away my darling humans, and I'll answer.

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><p><em><strong>Alright, so, just leave all questions in a review, or, if you don't want others to see it, just pm me. <strong>_

_**I'll try to answer all questions, however, if I don't answer yours the first time around, I'll try to get it the second time. **_

_**Ask as many questions as you want, any time of question to~**_


	2. Valhalla and humans

_**OOC: Alright~ First chapter. I hope it's alright. Again, I asked permission to do this. Full credit on first chapter.**_

* * *

><p><em><span>Asked by:<span>_

Amusuk  
>225/12 . chapter 1

Haha, 'what is your favourite colour?'

'who is your most favourite human?'

Like that?

^v^

_**Well, hello there my lovely human~ Thank you for your questions. Ah? My favourite colour, hmm? Let's see….. It's probably either black or red, I wear those two colours quite a bit, so, they shall be my favourite~**_

_**My most favourite human, you ask? Ahahahahaha~ such a silly question! I love all humans equally. I cannot pick favourites, as their God I simply cannot. So, I love them all equally, I have no favourites.**_

_Asked by:_

Kida  
>225/12 . chapter 1

do you have a human fetish or something..?

_**Ahahahahahaha~ What an odd question~! Hmm… Well, as I'm sure you know, I canot simply love a human, however, I suppose with some of their… reactions to my little games of observation could… trigger a little something…. Infact, it reminds me of this one time…. Ahahaha~ Well, I'm not going to go into that…**_

_Asked by:_

Mika . siam . 71192  
>225/12 . chapter 1

Izaya-chan,can I call you that?

You don`t have promblem like Shizuo has to how to adress you in the right  
>way?<p>

Even if you are a badas* I still love your creapy laughters they are kinda  
>like mine!(^_^)<p>

So tell me:

music are you listening to?if you even listen.(-_-')

you enter Valhalla will you bring someone with you?

Shizuo maybe?

so you`ll don`t get boring,of course not for anything not for  
>anything else...(^_^)<p>

you ever dressed as aa woman and went outside pretent to be Kanra or  
>Nakura?<p>

That`s my silly questions for you for the time being.

Janee Izaya-chan!(^_^)/

_**Oh, another human has sent me some questions~ Ah? Yes, you can call me that. Ahaha. Go ahead. Ara~ Shizu-chan is very uptight about his name 3 **_

_**Ah~! It's love to hear I have a fan amongst my lovely humans! Oh, and of course you like my laugh! Who doesn't? (Well… Shizu-chan doesn't, but, he doesn't matter!)**_

_**Music? Well I don't really listen to music that much, but, if I were to. I probably would listen to whatever is popular with my lovely humans! Anything current.**_

_**Oh? Well, my, my, that's an interesting question…Ha! Shizu-chan? Ahahahahaha~ certainly not! I probably wouldn't bring anyone. I really don't like to share. Only I can enter, I am a God, after all. *grins***_

_**Oh? Has Shizu-chan been saying things again? *sighs* No, I have never cross dressed. However….. *grins* I'll let you think about that.**_

_**Oh, well, it always entertains me to see what my lovely humans want to know! Bye bye~**_

_Asked by:_

Heiwajima-Shizuo

2/25/12 . chapter 1

Izaya-san! I didn't expect you to do a blog... you seem like the busy kind of  
>person to do one...<p>

May I ask a few? well um...

I heard you like bitter stuff so... Do you like coffee? If you do, what's your  
>favorite kind?<p>

Do you have any kind of hobby beside human observation? x3

What's your favorite food beside ootoro? :3

Also, I'd like to kind of agree in why human observation is fun...kinda do it  
>at school since I have no friends ;n;<p>

_**Ah? Shizu-chan? . . . No, you aren't Shizu-chan, you must be another one of those copy cats on the net these days, hmm? Oh well, it really doesn't matter anyway *grins* **_

_**Ah, yes, I do like coffee. It's nice and bitter. My favourite kind… probably the imported coffee from Brazil, it's pretty good.**_

_**Other hobbies? Of course! Well, there is annoying Shizu-chan, then there is collecting information….oh, and I occasionally step on cell phones. Ahahaha~**_

_**My favourite food beside Ootoro? Well, Ootoro is like heaven in a bite… but, French toast would be a close second…**_

_Asked by:_

makeshift-rolley  
>225/12 . chapter 1

Are you aware that all you do in Valhalla is to eat, drink, fight and prepare  
>for Ragnarok?<p>

_**Ahaha~ Of course I'm aware. You thought I wasn't? *slightly dangerous look***_

_Asked by:_

22peach22  
>225/12 . chapter 1

When are you and Shizuo going to date, bro? C'mon. It has to be a matter of  
>time at this point. XD<p>

Uhh. If you deny love for him, which you mostly likely will, what would one  
>have to do to get a date with you? Hopefully nothing TOO crazy, what with your<br>crazy nature and all. Just out of curiosity.

_**Me and Shizu-chan date? Ahahaha~ Sorry to disappoint you, but, I doubt that will ever happen. Granted there may be some…. Sexual tension, however, I'd hardly think we'd ever date, now, a one night stand… that I seems far more probable… *chuckles***_

_**Oh? Well, you'd have to stop being human, but, I doubt that would ever happen. So, sorry, looks like it's impossible for you all~ **_

_Asked by:_

greenapple23  
>225/12 . chapter 1

Hi Izaya! This is so weird about a moment ago I was thinking if Izaya made a  
>blog and here it is! Wow! Here I am asking 4 questions to the most badass<br>informant in all of Ikebukuro history! :DDD

~How do I become a badass informant like you?

~Have you think about highlighting your bangs red?

~Did you have any erotic dreams about Shizuo or Shizu-chan?

~What did you think about the episode "Badass Dude"?

~In Badass Dude others wore their school uniform but you're the only one who  
>didn't so why is that?<p>

Well to be honest I am a big fan of yours and I hope to become a badass like  
>you :)<p>

~Your huge fan,

greenapple23 :D :33

_**Oh, wao. Another fan of mine~ I seem to have so many! Not surprising in the least, though. *chuckle* Ah, how? Well, I suppose you have to be good at researching for one, but, it's simply something you're born with. Ahahaha~ **_

_**Hmm… no, I haven't. I might try, I'm not really sure.**_

_**Erotic dreams about Shizu-chan? *chuckles, grins, winks* I'll let you work that out for yourself.**_

_**What did I think of it… well, I didn't mind it. I think it was fun for the fans to see how everything started out. Also, it's always a good opportunity to learn about some of Shizu-chan's weaknesses. *chuckles***_

_**Ah, my uniform. Really, I just wanted to stand out, be different to all the humans. Plus, if I may say so, I look pretty good in red and black. *grins***_

_**Ah, well, it's nice to hear from devoted fans and followers~ Thank you for the questions.**_

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><p><em><strong>Alright, lovely humans. Keep sending those questions in~<strong>_


	3. Speedo's and Shizuchans!

**_Ah~ I've gotten so many questions and I only just made this! I love you all my humans~ Continue sending in those questions._**

* * *

><p><em><span>Asked by:<span>_

Alice  
>225/12 . chapter 2

Alice:Hello, Izaya -_-

Now tell me, are you human? If not, tell me what you are, you human-obsessive  
>freak ^^<p>

From - Alice ( Your curious reviewer )

PS... Watch human centipede ...

_**Hello there human~ Oh? Am I human? Ahahaha~ Of course not, I'm a god…**__**or, perhaps a demi god is more accurate currently… whatever, all that is important is that I'm higher up then my lovely humans. I rule and control over all of you~ I love you all.**_

_**Human centipede? *dark look* I don't think so.**_

_Asked by:_

angryAzn  
>225/12 . chapter 2

okay Izzy-kun here is a question

would you prance around shizu-kun in nothing but a speedo?

if so what color? :D

_**Ah? A speedo? Hahaha, I may do some weird things, however, I probably would never do that. Speedos are so unfashionable, after all ~**_

_Asked by:_

Shizaya Orihara Hewajima  
>225/12 . chapter 2

hi EEEEZAAAYUUUH.

i has some questions for you~

are you a virgin~?

if not who did ya give your vcard to ;3?

could i lure you into a van with otoro on a stick?

and lastly-

do you like zeh mudkips? :S

**_Why, hello there~ it's another shizu-chan impersonator, hmm? Aren't I lucky to speak to another one~_**

_**Ah~ Shizu-chan is such a pervert~! Ahahah~ Still I'm not going to tell you~ *grins***_

_**Ahahaha~ ootoro sounds tempting... However, I doubt it.**_

_**Ah? Mudkips... Sure, why not?**_

_Asked by:_

MikaSiam.71192  
>226/12 . chapter 2

Izaya-chan you and your so realistic lies... -_-'

You are AWESOME,no scratch that,you are AWEWHOLE.*_*

I see...I thought that the great Orihara had some standards for his music listenings.

Not only you don`t have preferencies on music as an idividual on top of that you follow the mass.*tchs*

I`m so DISAPOINTED, T^T9

You know that is phychical unhealthy,cause you don`t try to find out your you don`t like your personality so you go with the brainless mass? 0o0!

May I ask you if you ever thought to f*ck all the humalnity as their god?

Not that you don`t do so with their minds in Tokyo.

Ehem,you know in many civilazations their Gods have some preferences toward humans than other Gods...

So,as a God are you interested in beautiful people or in their personalities more? -_-?

Do you think if you enter Valhalla you will be a new God or you`ll be Loki,you kinda resemble him,no? ^-^

Aha!Shizuo knows about your cross dressing hobbies.I`ll ask him next I already have some ideas.*evil giggles*

Anyways I lobu Izaya-chan!3

So janee Izaya-chan! ^_^)/

_**Whatever are you talking about? Awewhole? Hmmm, I like the sound of that *grins***_

_**Ahaha, well, that's only in the rare moments I even listen to music. I barely do, so really, those statements hold no meaning~**_

_**Ahaha~ no, no. I couldn't feel a thing for a human, not even all of them. I love them platonically, that's it.**_

_**Hmm, I'd say... Neither. Humans don't interest me in that way.**_

_**Hmm, well, how about when I get there we'll find out, neh? *chuckle***_

_**Oh? Hn. *sigh* shizu-chan is always making up stuff like that. Ideas? Pray tell, what may those be?**_

_**I platonically love you human~**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>226/12 . chapter 2

Hey, there, Izaya-kun :D I see that you've made a blog... Oh! You'd like to have a one night stand with me? Well, I'm here anytime you're ready. :P Now, onto my questions!

1. We're having a Gay Tribe meeting next Wednesday. Are you going?

2. If you woke up found me lying next to you, what would your reaction be?

3. Do you have any friends from other fandoms?

_**Ah? It's the real Shizu-chan this time, neh? Ahahaha~ such an honour to have you visit my blog~  
>Oh~ you serious about that? *laughs and grins*<strong>_

_**Ahaha~ of course, you'll be there two, neh? Those meetings are always entertaining~ I get a chance to observe my humans.**_

_**Hmmm~ now, you see, that's a tricky one~ *light chuckle* depending on the situation I believe my reactions would be different~ I need more information, Shizu-chan~ *smirk***_

_**Friends from other fandoms? Hmm... Let's see... *taps chin while thinking* well, there is Bakyu-chan and Muku-chan from Katakeyo Hitman Reborn~ they're pretty cool. Oh, I'm friends with Ciel, I'm sure you know him, yeah? And I, of course, have pleanty more because I love humans and they all love me~**_


	4. Ebay and getting drunk at shinras

**So many questions and only my second post on here? Ah~ My humans really do love me! Of course, why wouldn't you. ((Check out Shizuo's blog! By Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay! )) **

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><p><em><span>Asked by:<span>_

Pineapple head mukuro  
>227/12 . chapter 1

hello izaya-kun

kufufufufu~

interesting blog.

here is my questiona

why do you love humans so much?

nothing,but a bunch of boring fragile things if you ask me.

d-does my head really resemble a...pineapple

_**Ah, Muku-chan~ it's you asking me the questions hmm? *grins***_

**_Why do I love humans so much? Ahahaha~ for many reasons. *frowns* They are hardly boring old fragile things, they are alive and have their own wills and thoughts. I love that they show such raw emotions at crucial, challenging moments. That their minds are so easily persuaded and they'd believe anything. The way they allow their emotions to control them in different situations and the outcomes which are affected by that~! Humans are interesting and emotive creatures._**

**_Hmm? Your head? *laughs* indeed it does. It looks rather close in shape._**

_Asked by:_

22peach22  
>227/12 . chapter 3

Hmmm. Mkay, so,

1. Would you be willing to sell your pocket knife on Ebay?

2. Ever thought of getting an apprentice? Since, if you die, the world then lacks a god. Unless you can do weird ghost stuff. Which would be disturbing.

3. If you had a month to live, what would you do with it?

_**My knife? Ahaha, no way~ it's my precious flick blade that I've cut not only humans but Shizu-chan with! I'd never sell it!**_

**_An apprentice, hmm? I can't say I have... Ah? Me die? Ahahaha~ that's not going to happen... For a while, anyway. I am forever 21, by the way. Weird ghost stuff? Ahaha, no, I can't do that. But, if I were to need an apprentice... I'd probably just clone myself (I'm sure Shinra can do it) and then implant all my knowledge into my clone so that I can continue my work and no one would ever suspect a thing._**

**_If I had a month to live, hmm? Well, depending on what I was going to die from then I'd do something different... If it were some illness I'd be going to Shinra, of course, and demanding he make a cure... If it were some sort of accident occuring...I'd get a body guard, just to be safe (preferably Shizu-chan) ... And, with either circumstance I'd probably try to have my way with the brute, as a final little goodbye present~_**

_Asked by:_

greenapple23  
>227/12 . chapter 3

Hi again! :) It's so freaking awesome asking you questions! :DDD

~Have you ever thought about coming to Las Vegas?

~What did it feel like smashing that girl's cell phone?

~I love your fashion style! I want to have your style so what kinds of clothes do you wear?

~What's it like to work with the yakuza?

~What's it like to be an informant?

You are the sooo freaking badass! :DDD I hope you come to Las Vegas and be even more badass in the casinos!:DDDD

Your huge fan,

~greenapple23 :DDD

_**Hello there~ ah? Las Vegas? I haven't really thought about it... I may come though, once I have some free time from my work. Of course, I'd love to study the humans over there~**_

_**What did it feel like? It felt like stomping on a phone, ahaha~ but, the best part was her expression. *grins* the pure shock and terror on her face! It's what I love about all of you! The way you show raw emotion in crisis times! Ahaha~**_

_**Oh, thank you. What kind of clothes? Lots of black, as you can tell, but I wear other colours like red and grey and navy. Hmm... Simple clothing, really, but fitted well. I would never wear baggy jeans, but, then again, I wouldn't wear skinny, a nice straight leg for pants...shirts? Usually v-necks, they look good on me, neh? Of course, sometimes I just love to tease shizu-chan so sometimes I steal a few of his clothes and wear them around (only his shirts and vests, mind you..) *smirks* does that answer your question?**_

_**Ah? Well I can't tell you~ confidential and all. I've gotta keep my mouth shut *grins***_

_**It's the best job in the world, of course! It's allows me to do what I love and get money for it! A bonus, neh? However, I suppose it has it's downsides... Sometimes I have to work late into the night.. And of course there is danger involved *chuckles* but, all that aside it's the best job ever.**_

_***laughs* oh, the compliments~ you flatter me too much~! *hand to chest, smirking* hmm, well, next time I have some free time I might head on over, maybe even bring Shizu-chan too if I can...'persuade'...him to. *grins***_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>227/12 . chapter 3

Eww, you're friends with Ciel? Why? He's such a whiny **.

ANYWAY, time for some more questions!

1. Has anyone every called you gay before? If so, how did you respond?

2. I dare you to do the Cinnamon Challenge!

3. If I were to hire you to be my butler... Would do do it? :P

4. Have you ever gotten drunk with Shinra? (I have. It was probably one of my  
>worst experiences EVER. O.o)<p>

Well, that's all for now. Tah-tah~!

_**Mhmm, of course, I don't expect you to understand why. You know, what with your protozoan brain only capable of a number of things and all. *shrugs and smirks***_

_**Ah, Shizu-chan has questions for me~ *points at self* I'm so flattered~!**_

_**Has anyone called e gay before? Shizu-chan, I think you should very well know the answer to that, you've called me that a number of times and I'm sure you know what happened *grins and winks* But, I suppose others have to…and, the reactions were different depending on who they were. Let's just say some of them were let of easily while others were… well….*chuckles* I'll let you guess.**_

_**The cinnamon challenge? Hmm… I'll do it if you do it with me? *puppy dog eyes***_

_**Ahahaha~ No way! Sorry Shizu-chan~ Although, I dare you to try and persuade me. *challenging grin* But, I think it would be a lot more fun if you were to be MY butler. I have the uniform all ready for you~ **_

_**Oh, I remember when you got drunk. You almost made out with Shinra and then Celty beat you up *laughs* Sadly, I have to admit, I have too. It was the worst experience ever, he tried to test one of his experiments on me. *shivers***_

* * *

><p><strong><em>((<em>Apologies for any mistake and if I missed your questions I'll get them in next time.))**


	5. Cinnamon Challenge and why I like humans

**_Ah~ Again, I love you all my humans! Disclaimer on first page._**

* * *

><p><em><span>Asked by:<span>_

Alice

2/27/12 ch4

Hey, freak-kun. It's me again.

UMADBR – anyway, I swear I'm 15x better at trolling than y o u are. So, you're a demi-god? Say hi to Percy Jackson for me.

I bet you don't like me. It's safe to say that I'm not human.

I'm a unicorn, Or so you would've wished.

PS- You look Phat *O*

_**Oh my, you have quite the mouth on you, don't you? Ahahaha~ You know, that little detail about yourself can get you in an awful lot of trouble *dangerous glint to eyes* and we wouldn't want that, now would we? *innocent grin yet admires flick blade dangerously* Humans tend to have that little flaw at times, they have no idea when it's better to stay quiet, of course, I always find entertainment in that little point. *chuckles and runs finger over flick blade* Oh, but, what am I saying, you're a unicorn, correct? Ahahahaha~**_

_Asked by:_

Nameless

2/27/12 ch1

Hello Izaya, how are you? I would like to ask you a few questions.

1. Why do you like humans? They are such disgusting creatures that are selfish  
>bastards. One can never truly do something for others because deep down inside<br>it's only for yourself. I have many examples, but I don't feel like treating  
>sounds today.<p>

2. Do you truly think there's a god? I don't believe it but I wonder if such a  
>thing exist.<p>

3. Why do you hate Shizuo? I prefer odd things that should not be in this  
>world.<p>

_**Oh? Hmm… you sound oddly familiar, Nameless…. *thinks* oh well~ Why do I like humans? They're entertaining~! The way they express themselves, how they allow their emotions take control, allowing greed, jealousy and lust to fuel them. How they always think they are in the right when really they aren't. The fact that I can manipulate them, sway them with reason! I love it all~ All of it! I love the face they make when I confront them, when they find out that they aren't all that they think they are~! Ahahahahaha~! I love humans, I love all of them! But you have quite the negative outlook on them, don't you? Quite the cynical person you seem to be.**_

_**Well, I believe that there is such a thing out there. Of course, I do believe in some type of Deity forms, I myself am one of them. So, if I did not have some belief how could I title myself as one?**_

_**Why do I hate Shizu-chan? Hmm, well, I'd have to say it's his complete unpredictability. I cannot for the life of me tell what he'll do next. He's a huge thorn in my side. The fact that he cannot be swayed by reason is also quite the annoyance and he cannot be killed that easily. However, I suppose even if I do hate him I find some entertainment from him. **_

_**Ahaha, again, you're quite the odd one…. As if you were the complete opposite of me or something…. *taps chin with finger and smirks***_

_Asked by:_

22peach22  
>228/12 . chapter 4

...The more you reply to these questions, the more I wonder just how many of these "one night stands" you and Shizuo partake in. XD The implications, dear god. Which ever so shamelessly leads me tooooo:

1. ARE YOU A VIRGIN? ...Yep, no shame, none.

And, uh, another thought just occurred to me, so while I am bricking in my windows as an entirely useless safety precaution, tell me...

2. You're totes not gonna stalk any of your bloggers down and mindscrew them like you did to poor little Rio in episode two, are you? fffff

And hey, for the heck of it, and because I totes like shame,

3. BOXERS OR BRIEFS?

_**Oh? Whatever do you mean? *chuckles* How many of them? Well… I can't go and spill all the details now can I? There is such a thing as kiss and don't tell, neh?**_

_**Am I? Ahahahaha~ How about you think about that answer and then tell me, hmm? I'm curious to see what your answer will be.**_

_**Oh? Bricking up windows? That isn't so much a safety precaution as a method of slow death, however, if you want to do that, well, I'm not one to stop you. *grins***_

_**Hmm, well, I don't really know. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. *chuckles* **_

_**Boxers or briefs? Depends on my mood really~**_

_Asked by:_

Honey-tan  
>228/12 . chapter 4

Ohayo.

Nee, nee! I wanna ask you a few questions too! Ummm... Have you ever loved a human before..? Not like the way you've luffed anyother human... What.. what type of food do you like..? Also... I don't understand why you hate Shizuo-kun so much.. I mean in the end, he's like every human you know...

Sayonara!

_**Well, hello there~ Have I ever loved a human before? Ahahahaha~ No way! I could never feel something for a human. I love them all equally and therefore I could never and will never love one. Food? I like bitter things, Ootoro and French toast~ Why I hate Shizu-chan? I believe I've explained this once already, but, since you're new here I'll repeat it. I hate his complete unpredictability. I cannot for the life of me tell what he'll do next, he's a pain. I hate that he cannot be swayed by reason, quite the inconvenience at times. How he cannot be killed that easily (and he tops me. :3 ) . However, I suppose even if I do hate him I find some entertainment from him. Oh, and Shizu-chan is far from human. He's a monster; a brute and a protozoan.**_

_**Bye~**_

_Asked by:_

Pineapple-San Mukuro  
>228/12 . chapter 4

i see...well the ones im around arent that fun except for a certain little cloud..kufufu~

i see...-eyes Darken- i don't even like pineapple..

anyways i have another question for you~

have you ever considered possibley being infatuated with certain human before..~

if so whom?

well thats all for now izaya-kun

as that annoying arcobaleno says

ciaossu~

_**Oh? That Skylark boy? Ahahaha~ I know all about him ~ He's quite strong, correct? He beat you with his little sticks. **_

_**Oh? If you don't like Pineapple then why did you cut your hair to model one? *smirks***_

_**Ah? No, no. I could never love or even become infatuated with a human~ Their like my toys, something for me to control. I rule over them, it just wouldn't do for a God to fall for something so beneath him~**_

_**Ah? Alright then, we'll chat later then, Muku-chan~**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima

1/03/2010 ch4

I….Almost made out with Shinra? SHINRA? OH GOD! WHY do I not remember this? I must have been REALLY freakin' drunk.

I would LOVE to do the Cinnamon challenge with you. *wink* : P

_**Ahahaha~ Yes, and I even got it on camera! So, feel free to come on over and I'll show it to you~ But yes, you were so drunk. I'm pretty sure you don't remember what happened after that little incident. *chuckles***_

_**Oh? Wonderful. Looks like we're both doing it then. *grins***_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Alright lovely humans~! I have a question for YOU~! I think I need a theme song, I want you all to recommend me one~!<strong>_


	6. Love,hate and whats in that french toast

_Asked by:_

Snowy  
>31/12 . chapter 5

Hey, Izaya~

I just found your blog and HAD to check it out. :D

OK, so I recently found out that there's a cult dedicated to you (I do believe that Saki-Chan was a member), and I was just wondering how you join. 'Cause... uh... I've got a friend that's a huge fan of yours and she wanted in. So, if you don't mind, could you tell me?... so I can tell my friend?

Also, since your asking, I think a great theme song for you would be Don't Stop by InnerpartySystem. The lyrics are twisted just enough to be yours. XP

Well, it was great talking to you, Izaya-Kun, but I'll let you go because I'm sure you have tons of other questions to answer.

Bye-bye~

_**Oh? I have a cult? Wonderful~! How to join? I don't suppose there is a way, you just have to swear your loyalty to me or something. Ahaha~ Oh, you're friend, hmm? Of course it is. *smirks* **_

_**Ah, yes, I've heard that. It does seem to fit. *chuckles* I'll take note of that, thank you human~**_

_Asked by:_

Honey  
>31/12 . chapter 5

I would like to appologise, for my twins( Alice ) rude behaviour... Ummm... Izaya-kun? I can't believe I'm saying this but...Not to be rude, ?

Ahem...* Smiles as innocently as possible * Heh heh~!Ah! Sorry! I never knew that you explained that already... * Fiddles with fingers * I.. I like french toast too... but I guess I like Candy & Roasted Seaweed better.

Questions -

1) Would you rather grow old and die, or die from Shizuo.2) Flick blade or pistol?

Bye!

_**Ahahaha~ It's fine. I've come to tolerate many different human personalities so, there is no need to apologise. Mmm? What is your question, my dear lovely human? *grins and innocent face and chuckles* Oh, it's fine. It's fine, carry on. Ah? Would I rather grow old and die or die from shizu-chan? Well, I'll be forever 21 so, growing old is out of the question~ But, if I were to die, I'd do it in style, ahahaha~ in all honesty I'd probably kill myself infront of shizu-chan as one final little thing. Kind of like; "Ahaha~ You didn't end up killing me." With my own flick blade, of course. But, I doubt I'll die at all, so, this is a completely hypothetical question~**_

_**Bye~**_

_Asked by:_

Alice  
>31/12 . chapter 5

Well, aren't you bitter o... I, honestly, don't care about what you think of me. Besides, I am trouble itself. Very little good happens to me~ _ y the way, I am not a unicorn. I am a mere human who would love to choke you in your sleep...

*Looks at Pocket Watch and smiles*

Tell me, Izaya, what do you hold most dearest..?

*Cheshire cat Grin*

And also, would you ever cry?

-Alice ( Airi )

_**Ahahaha, well, you are what you eat, is what they say, right? Oh? Well I can't say that's a new thing to hear. *chuckles* Oh? *laughs* Ahahahahaha! You are one of many it seems. *grins* Means nothing to me, really. *files nails absently***_

_**What do I hold most dearest? Well, I suppose the entirety of humanity, but, then again, I really hold nothing that dear to me. *matches grin***_

_**Ahahaha, never, a god doesn't cry.**_

_Asked by:_

HakumeiTwinBlade  
>31/12 . chapter 5

Hakumei-chan writes:

Izaya-kun, is it true you have AIDS? XP I heard it from Shizuo-kun's blog, and three more things...

If you could have anything harmless in the world what would it be?

If waffles are king next to bacon, would dogs have Mad Dog Disease?

Finally, Would if you were a woman would you have a baby with Shizuo?

_**Ah? Me, AIDS? Ahaha, well, let's just say that if I did then Shizu-chan would too, right? *sighs* However, I do not have aids and I suggest you disregard anything Shizu-chan says. He is a protozoan, afterall, he hardly knows what he's talking about half the time. Really, the only thing he does know about is Fighting/Violence and Sex. *grins***_

_Asked by:_

22peach22  
>31/12 . chapter 5

Ehhhhhh, bricks on the windows or not, there's always air vents. ...Wait, then that kinda defeated the purpose of me bricking these windows, since if I can still get in and out, anyone could. Ffffffffff-

Yeah, that maybe, maybe not thing is reaaallly disconcerting, buddy. Congratulations; as usual, you succeed at getting reactions from people.

And, my answer depends on whether or not the answers you are giving us are accurate. If I had to follow all the implications, then nope, you lost virginity, buuuut if I had to follow my own hunch, then I'd say that I honestly can't see you doing any of that XD Especially not with a human being. Unless you were curious. So I guess that amounts to...maybe?

As for a theme song, try Knife Fight by Lemon Demon. And, since this is YOUR question blog and not mine, now I am going to stop answering and ask.

1. Would you be willing to offer tutoring? I'd pay. AP World History is an information dump. Teaching me combat skills without actually beating me senseless sounds nice too. I've always wanted to learn knife throwing/go to a shooting range/etc. Just don't tell mom. .

2. You...you wear underwear according to your mood? Is it color coded to? Does it match your eyes, Izaya~? Pfffft. Kidding. It's probably all black, like your clothes.

3. You're stuck on a deserted island. What's the first thing you do?

God this was a lengthy reply.

_**Indeed. Although, cover that up and you couldn't breathe and die of suffocation ^-^.**_

_**Ha ha, of course~ it's what I do best and, of course, you have delivered and interesting reaction as I expect from my humans. *grins* Oh? Well then, there is your answer. Although, I'm not going to say if you are right or not, I'll just leave you with that.**_

_**Ah, I've heard a bit of that, it seems to fit~ I'll check out the whole song later. *smirks* **_

_**Would I be willing to tutor? Hmm, well, I suppose if I have the time~ But, betweem Yakuza business, information gathering and Shizu-chan I don't have that much time, but, I suppose I could show you a thing or two~ Ahaha, I won't be if she finds out it wasn't me *grins*.**_

_**Yes, I do. Ah? Colour coded, no, they're all black, unless there is a special occasion~ *grins* **_

_**First thing I do? Get off of it, of course. But, I know that I would never be on a deserted island to begin with. I am a God, higher than my lovely humans and therefore am intelligent enough to never get caught in that situation~**_

_Asked by:_

Pineapple-San Mukuro  
>31/12 . chapter 5

kufufu i assure you that was pure luck he had on his side..kufufu~

-mumbles- i lost a bet to ken..-sigh-

God eh? kufufu~ well now isnt someone very high and mighty~

oh and this "Protozoan" of yours do yoy really want him Dead? or is he just a play thing you simply cant break~

oh and Theme song for you can be barbie girl kufufu~

on a serious note though i think first of the year is a good song for you~

well bye for now izaya-kun~

_**Oh? Ahaha~ Sure it was, Muku-chan~ Even after he was terribly injured and you barely had a scratch he managed to defeat you with a few swings of his tonfa? *laughs* It's always luck, hmm? Was it luck when that little weak human defeated you too? *grinning widely***_

_**Oh? What was the bet? I'm curious~ *hands on cheeks, rests elbows on table***_

_**Of course~ Oh? Hardly! I'm just stating fact. *laughs***_

_**Oh~ You mean Shizu-chan? Ahahah~ Well, things wouldn't be as fun if he were gone, neh? Plus, if I wanted him dead, he'd be dead. For now I'm not done playing with him *smirks* What about that little cloud boy? Any plans for him?**_

_**Oh? I'll look that up~**_

_**Bye bye~**_

_Asked by:_

Animeguy1  
>31/12 . chapter 1

cool

_**Indeed I am~ Thank you for noticing lovely human~**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima

3/3/12 ch5

Oh, so you hate me because of my unpredictability, huh? I recall you saying " I love you" to me at least SIX TIMES last night when you were SCREWING ME! YOU said my gawgeous unpredictable-ness is what makes me HOT! *slaps* Liar.

You VIDEOED that **? You little **…

By thw way, see that French toast on the table? I wouldn't eat it, if I were you. Not unless you want to eat my s- Ehh, you'll find out. :D I will now harass tyou with various questions!

Do you ever think about me before you go to sleep?

What is your favourite manga?

Why are you such a massive prick?

Do you like coffee?

Have you ever been on a diet? Or have you ever been a ** in general?

If I came to your house wearing nothing but a speedo, what would you do?

That's all for now :D

_**Ah, well, we have a complicated relationship, don't we, shizu-chan? I'm not going to deny saying that, because it's both true~ Ahaha, so, you just admitted I was topping you, huh? About time! I'm sure that the fans would really love to know who actually is on top.**_

_**Of course~ You expected me not to? *grins***_

_**Ah? This French toast? Right here? If it's what I think it is…well, I've already had a few mouth fulls of that, haven't I? *chuckles* Oh? Well, that's my favourite type of harassment. Lay it on me, Shizu-chan~**_

_**Hmmm, I'll say, pass~**_

_**Favourite manga? Well, I found this really cool one called Durarara! The other day. They have this character called Izaya Orihara and he's just, the best. I think he's the most perfect character in the world. I'm sure you'll LOVE him, Shizu-chan~ I mean, he's unbelievably hot and sexy and intelligent~ Every one loves him.**_

_**Because you like the big ones~**_

_**Of course~**_

_**Nope, I've always been skinny, I guess, plus you always seem to give me a work out one way or another. I don't ever need to be on one. *chuckles***_

_**I think you know the answer to that already. *grins widely***_

_**Alright then~ Later Shizu-chan!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>((Everyone! Check out Shizuo's blog for the Cinnamon Challenge between Shizuo and Izaya! ))<strong>_


	7. Cinnamon challenge and mosh pits

_Asked by:_

22peach22

3/3/12 ch6

…Yeahhhhh. I did not think this through. Gonna see if Shizuo can fix this…just because I could lay the bricks doesn't mean I could remove them. DX . . . There you go agaun, being all disconcerting with comments like that. .-. /just gonna, sta outside my house for a while to avoid accidentally covered air vents…or purposely considering all the enemies I amass.

Finds out it wasn't you…okay, what. Just, pardon? What on god's green earth is THAT meant to mean, huh? Just what are you thinking of doing? .-.

Special. Occasion? You are seriously mindscrewing me with all these innuendos. So, so very much. In fact, I think my mind just broke. Congratulations. The matter of your virginity will permanently bug me. I'll just ask Shizuo now, once he's done burning his throat with cinnamon. –face wall forever- Just what do you wear for these "Special Occasions?"

If you're a god, how come you can't get "your humans" to love you back? And, I'd totes just LOVE to see you prove your divinity by going through with this cinnamon challenge without a hitch.

Ever thought about being a psychologist, considering your crazed passion for human beings? It might be a more, err, positive use for your talents… Though, I'm unsure if you'd want to use them positively. XD

_**Nope, but, that's just the thing about you humans. You never seem to think anything through, although, that's the thing that amuses me the most~ Ah? Ask Shizu-chan? You can try~ He'll need persuading though, you know how he is about violence… Yes, there I go again~ Ahahahaha~ mindfucked? well, that's mission accomplished so to speak then, neh?**_

_**What? Ask Shizuo….You sure about that? He has the most irritating habit of making up negative rumours about me~ I don't think it would be very wise to ask him. Ah yes, that challenge~ The one I will surely defeat him in.**_

_**Just what? Now, I can't reveal that now can I? It's only for a special selected few…**_

_**Ah? Well, I could if I wanted but I find it much more fun when they want to hate me instead. Makes life interesting, neh? You think I'd chicken out with that? Oh. Now way! I'm going to defeat this little challenge and Shizu-chan~ I will grind them both into the ground.**_

_**A Psychologist? No way! That's not nearly as fun as my current job! Didn't I say it already? I've already got a DREAM JOB~! Positive? That hardly matters! I'd never change jobs!**_

_Asked by:_

Aki-chan

5/3/12 ch3

Hi Izaya-kun!*throws Shizaya doujinshi books everywhere like  
>confetti*<p>

Soooooooo,few questions.

you a brony?;D

(Or have you watched my little pony,whatever one you wanna answer.)

are you going to do it with Shizu-chan,anyways?Seiously,make a  
>move,'cause seme Shizu-chan will probably be...er,it will resault in painful<br>s** .XD Quit running from him and make a move!:D

(Sorry,Erika introduced me to the glorious idea of you 2 )

_**Why hello there my lovely human~ *sneakily grabs a few doujinshi and stuffs behind back* A brony? . . . Can't say I know what that is, and yes, I have seen My little pony! I was chilling at Shizu-chan's house and I found the box set DVD's in his cupboard so I decided to watch it while I waited for him to get back~ Apparently he's quite the fan.**_

_**When? *chuckles* who said I already haven't? Seme Shizuo? I'm well aware of that fact~ Oh? But the running is half the fun~!**_

_**(it's fine~ I'm used to Erika. Truthfully I find it quite amusing~)**_

_Asked by:_

Souly

3/4/12 ch2

I'd like to ask a question and state a few things.

First, I'm kinda like you. Observing the people around you can get quite  
>interesting.<p>

Second, you say that you're a god. You love all humans equally. According to  
>most, a god posseses no emotion. So, are you a god, or just a man close to a<br>god?

Third, how do I keep people from trying to hurt me? I usually pull out my  
>switch blade, but they still try anyway.<p>

_**Go ahead then, lovely human. Oh? Well, that's certainly nice to know I suppose. Indeed, I do say that. I'm almost a god, I suppose. But, even a god needs to have some kind of emotion towards his prey. I mean, then that would mean that all these religions around the world about God loving everyone would be false, correct? But then again, they might've never been real all along. *sighs* I suppose the truth won't be found out until we all see it with our own eyes, neh?**_

**_I? I'm just better than them. There is a very good reason why I'm able to fight toe-to-toe with Shizu-chan you know~ Hmm, I suggest, maybe a body guard, until you get good enough to hold them all of? Of course, a _certain bodyguard_ is off limits. Understand? *dangerous glint in eyes and dangerous smirk*_**

_Asked by:_

Pineapple -San Mukuro

3/5/12 ch6

I admit I… underestimated their resolves a foolish mistake that won't happen again.

The bet…I …rather not mention…

oh so this Yellow brick lightens up your day? Kufufu~

ah a fact, hmm? –smirk- very well Izaya-kun you are –bows and chuckles- God.

The skylark hnm –smiles calmly- I am going to break him. Physically and mentally torture him beyond comprehension…take him to hell and back but oh no I won't kill him –smirks sadistically- I want him to beg for death and shatter his pride even then I won't kill. It will be humiliation after humiliation. Kufufu….

Now you need a question…hmm, let's see…

If I came to Ikebukuro for a while what would be the very first thing we could do?~

That's it for now bai-bai Iza-kun.

_**Ahaha~ A foolish mistake on your part, don't you agree? Well, they say that humans learn from their mistakes, correct? *smirks* Oh? But that just makes me all the more curious~ You'll have to tell me now, but, I suppose you don't have to considering I am the greatest informant in both Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. I could EASILY find out on my own. *smirks widely***_

_**The yellow brick brightens my day? You certainly have quite the positive filter Muku-chan~ He simply brings me entertainment and occasionally amuses me, that's all~**_

_**Ahaha, why, I'm so flattered. You better not tell Byaku-chan though, won't he be rather jealous~ Oh? Well, aren't you the sadistic mastermind? Can't say I wouldn't like to join in. It would be a brilliant opportunity to observe the more aloof and strong willed humans in dire and horrible situations~ When you do get your hands on him give me a call, ok? *dark chuckle***_

_**Ah, well, that's an easy one! Annoy Shizu-chan of course~**_

_Asked by:_

Shiki Kurochou  
>38/12 . chapter 6

Good afternoon, I just happened upon your...amusing blog.

Veneziano- Lies, I read it and he's been reading over my shoulder like the stalker shinigami he is.

^w^ Ignore him, he's my pet.

Veneziano-I am not! I died but you kept my soul in my body!

Oh shush child. Anyway I do have questions for you:

1. What's your favorite thing humans do? I rather enjoy their faces when they realize they're dead.

2. Do you happen to know Prince the Ripper? I've seen stories that make it seem like you would be very good friends.

3. What do you think is the reason why humans tend to trust you? It is quite the conundrum.

Oh and as for a theme song for you, I think Dream-Eating Monochrome Baku suits you, though Alice Human Sacrifice would be perfect too.

Bye-bye for now~!

Veneziano-Help me!*taken away*

_**Afternoon to you. Ah? Well, you're an interesting being, aren't you. From the sounds of it you aren't human, are you? You're a shinigami, a death god, correct?**_

_**And who's this little pet you're speaking of? I'm curious to meet the both of you. *grinning* **_

_**My favourite thing humans do? Well, that's a hard decision. *spins around lazily in chair* I suppose it would be when they make decisions based on emotion, impulse. The outcomes are always amusing and entertaining. Ah, well, I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing that, but, perhaps I will one day. *light chuckle***_

_**Do I know Prince the Ripper? Yes, I do. He's a rather interesting human and we often have knife fights and competitions between each other. We're good friends.**_

_**Ah, well, that I do not know. I suppose it's because they need my information, my skills so much that they are willing to trust me. Or, perhaps it's because they're so desperate they do. Of course, knews about how good my work is does seem to help and most humans don't always follow their better judgement.**_

_**Ah, I'll look those up. Nice talking to you~ Byee.**_

_Asked by:_

Nameless  
>39/12 . chapter 5

I find it quite funny actually; I hate humans for the same reason your so fond of them. The fact that they think so highly of themselves disgust me. They are even more stupid then I originally thought, believing that their friends are really who they say they are when sooner or later you might never speak to them ever again. They are such sad beings that don't even know that they'll eventually kill the very place they live in.

Your quite a monster yourself you know. Not in the way you call Shizuo but with the way you play with people as if they were merely chess pieces. I can't say I hate you because you aren't actually human but a cruel being people call god. You have tapped my interest Orihara.

_**Oh? Ahahaha, well, that is rather amusing. It seems we're completely opposite from each other, and yet, at the same time I have a feeling we might have some similarities as well. Mmm, humans are complex beings, they depend on others and yet at the same time they wish for independence. They're indescisive and often follow their emotions, which I don't mind at all~ It's what I love about them, they make such rash descisions without ever giving it a proper thought making my job that much easier and a whole lot more fun~**_

_**Oh, I'm aware, I am a god. A god living amoungst humans. I can tell that you don't exactly view yourself as human either? You don't seem to, otherwise you would be hating yourself, correct? Ahaha, as have you, Nameless-san.**_

_Asked by:_

mika . siam . 71192  
>310/12 . chapter 6

Hey,long time no see you!Did you missed me? Probably not...(-_-')well I missed your smug face,so I wanted to talk with you again!(^_^)

I can`t believe you,how you dare to lost the cinnamon challenge?I`m so disappointed!(-)9*crying from anger*

Ahem,Which is your favourite phychologist and why?

And one last thing is your parka with natural or fake fur?

Alright that`s for now!jaa ne!(^_^)/

_**Hello there lovely human~ Did I miss you? Do you want the honest answer? Ah, you missed me~ That's lovely to hear *grinning* **_

_***frowns* Don't remind me, but, really, I have a feeling Shizu-chan sabotaged it, in a way. Although…. He's too much of a protozoan to know what 'sabotage' even means. *chuckles* But, Shizu-chan also lost, and his loss was far more pitiful, so, technically, I feel as if I beat him in respect on how we lost.**_

_**My favourite Psychologist? I really can't pick, it's difficult. Can I say myself? *laughs* Why? Because I am the best there is an no one knows me better than myself.**_

_**Faux fur (fake fur) but I do have one with real fur, but the fur kept falling out and getting all over my clothes so I don't really wear that one anymore.**_

_**Alright, byee~**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>310/12 . chapter 6

Yeah, we ALL know the manga Durarara! Dumbass, ugh, I swear, I'm gonna punch you! *Blinks* Wait a minute... You think I'm...Hot? O/O Oh yeah, you screamed that, like, at least six times last night.

I don'tknow how to respond to you anymore.

I hope you choke to death on your toast. =D I mixed in a combintion of assballs, weed, crack, speed, shrooms, marijuana and crystal meth. Have fun shitting that out!

Oh, and if you manage to not die of an overdose, come to my house later. I have a surprise for you :

And I have a question! Have you ever been in a mosh pit?

_**Well, I was just making sure~ I mean, who knew a protozoan like you kenw about it, and you're in it! *laughs* Ahaha, whatever Shizu-chan~ It's not like you've threaten me 100 times before *sarcasm* Ahahaha, you didn't hear me the first time? Indeed I did *grins***_

_**How about the most productive way you know?~ *smirking***_

_**My toast? Oh, a stray dog came in so I gave it to it instead. It kinda… died. So, yeah, what's this surprise anyway, Shizu-chan? ~**_

_**Mosh Pit? Of course~ Back in high school, remember? Shinra, Kadota, you and I all went to that concert. **_

* * *

><p><strong>((Allright! If you haven't already check out Shizuo's blog, by <em>'Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay'<em> to see the outcome of the Cinnamon Challenge!**

**Also, previous chapter edited and replaced since I forgot someone's question! So, I'm sorry to that person! ))**


	8. Hug and Interesting people

_Asked by:_

Shiki Kurochou  
>310/12 . chapter 7

Aw nice to see someone recognizes what I am. *shrugs* Most children nowadays *sighs* they just don't understand, it saddens, truly it does.

Veneziano- Uh, um, I'm...Vene...

Now, now, don't be shy, Vene, say hello properly. I apologize for him; he can be terribly shy. If you wish to meet him, I'd be glad to come over to Ikebukuro sometime, though I'll need a...reason.

Veneziano- He means someone's gonna need to be dead first, though that's never stopped him from going wherever he wants and dragging me along...

^w^ Anyway*pats Vene's head* another question I suppose: outside of Ikebukuro, what's your favorite area of Tokyo? I rather like Shibuya myself: Joshua-kun (aw, if you don't know him, you should meet; he's a wonderful person) and I have so much fun when I'm there.

Veneziano- Hey I have a question too. Why are you such a weirdo anyway? You're kind of cree-

*Holds Vene a little too tightly**smiles* I apologize for him again. It would seem he doesn't remember his manners. I'll try to reteach him before I ever bring him to Ikebukuro. Either way, bye-bye for now. ^w^

_**Mm, well, most days children are distracted by petty things. Looks over, oh? Vene, interesting. Oh? Someone needs to be dead? That can always be arranged *chuckled* It would be pretty easy, actually. Oh? But apparently a dead person isn't really needed, or was that little boy inside you lying? *smirks***_

_**My favourite area? Shinjuku, perhaps, but really, Ikebukuro is my kingdom, my place of reign, so, it's hard to choose other places. Joshua-kun? Oh, he sounds fun~ You must introduce me~! **_

_**Oh? Well, aren't you a curious little human spirit, hmm? It's fine *smiles, slight dangerous tint* Very well, I'll see you if you ever get the chance, byee~**_

_Asked by:_

Nameless  
>310/12 . chapter 7

Drop the -San, I hate it when people show respect to someone that is no better then theirselves. You are right though, I do not view myself as a human but as a simple living being on this planet we call Earth. Even so, I cannot deny that I was born a human and a part of me will always be human no matter how much I try to throw it all away. That is why I not only hate humans but myself as well. I guess you feel the same way after all; gods like you are born human and you cannot truly deny that. So I wonder if it means you love a part of yourself? I don't believe in gods, so your merely just a disgusting human in my eyes that striked a part of my couriosity.

_**Oh? Very well then. Oh? So does that mean you view us as equals? Oh, wait, that's impossible, or perhaps just simply incorrect, correct? I see, that a rather interesting way to look at it. Oh, I suppose I love a bit of myself, I mean, what's not to love about me? But, if a part of you is human, does that mean that I also love a part of you? Perhaps, but, in the same way, isn't Shizuo also part human? Therefore I'd have to love a part of him too, right? *chuckles* Oh? Well, you are a monster that has tickle my curiosity as well, Nameless~ **_

_Asked by:_

shinohime-chan  
>311/12 . chapter 7

Iza-iza! *glomps* aren't you just the cutest thing! Baby I hate to tell you this but you aren't god, you're human just like the rest of us, you just have a REALLY bad god complex... Why the hell haven't you gotten together with shizuo yet? Don't you realize that if you don't get together with him soon he' ll be with another Uke who isn't you? Okay now time for mai question

1) do u want these chocalate covered almonds? They arent that sweet love

2) what would you define as the perfect date

3) pirates ninjas or baby kittens?

4) do you like vocaloids or utauloids? I needs tah know since I am an utau maker

5) how would you feel if I went to this years anime Vegas as you and my friend went as shizuo and we were making out for photos cause we are so going to do that

Kk and izaya... I love you to death but can you stop being such an assmunch? It gets annoying and is one of the reasons people kinda HATE YOU OTL.

_**Oh, hello there… Are you another Erika follower or something? Oh? I beg to differ. *laughs* I'm far above you, my dear humans. You just have to finally accept that fact. It seems you're in denial~ Ah? Me get together with Shizuo? Ahahaha, if you're referring to some kind of mutual 'romantic' relationship then, sorry, I doubt that'll ever happen. Shizuo is too much of a protozoan to understand the complexity of such a topic anyway. Oh, that won't be happening. *chuckles dangerous glint in his eye* Trust me, that will never happen. The damn protozoan is mine. *possessive face***_

_**Ok! 1. No thanks, I try to stay away from sugary things, even if it isn't sweet.**_

_**2. Hmm, well, I wouldn't date, so, I suppose it doesn't really matter.**_

_**3. Bartenders~**_

_**4. Hmm, good question, I don't really listen to music, so, neither. But, if you could make me my own I'd pick that one.**_

_**5. . . . Not more crazy fan girls..*sighs* go ahead and do as you wish~ Just don't show the pictures to Shizu-chan, he won't be happy.**_

_**Ah? Impossible! It's too much fun to ever stop!**_

_Asked by:_

HakumeiTwinBlade  
>311/12 . chapter 7

I know I didn't talk to you last time, but what do you think of Kid Icarus Uprising? I heard you both lost the cinnimon challenge. Me? I won't do dangerous stuff like that and frankly my true spelling is horrible so I use google most of the time...One last thing...Would you have a pet Kyuubi no Yoko (Nine tail spirit fox for those who do not understand the Japanese Myths NOT for Izaya-kun I'm assuming he knows of it)? If so what would you name it?

_**Kid Icarus Uprising? I don't really have an opinion on it~ Yes, we did, but, technically I won even if I lost because Shizu-chan's loss was far more pitiful. I see, well, I suppose if I were to do one good deed in my life.. I'd tell all my lovely humans to not try it. Whether you listen to me though, it's up to you. I won't talk you out of it if you decide to. *smirk* Oh, yes, I would. I could train it to be a guard dog. *laughs* The name? Hmm… Probably something like "Kyu" Or something really tough and scary sounding.**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>311/12 . chapter 7

T_T Ugh, you...! You little CUMBUCKET! Heh, you might as well be one, after what I do to you every other night~

O_O You fed it to a DOG? You sick bastard, what did it ever do to you? *screams* ANIMAL ABUSE! ANIMAL ABUSE!

B*TCH, I will SHANK you! Have you ever gotten shanked in the ass? I'm guessing probably not...be prepared to have your anus ripped out! :D

I do have one question, though... Why does your penis always detach itself from your body whenever we have secks? It gets very awkward, you know.

Oh, and btw, welcome to my happy place, now get your shit and leave. :D

_**Ahahah~ I can't disagree with that. Ah, mhmm, but it was your dog, so, it's fine ^-^ Ah, technically Shizu-chan, it's YOUR FAULT. I only thought it was a harmless piece of toast that you had prepared for me. So, you scream that and you're the one off to jail~ Ah? Can't say I have. Doesn't sound too pleasant though. Still, I'd love to see you try Shizu-chan. Although, you realise, if you did that, well, we wouldn't be able to do this anymore~ Oh? Because you're so rough and mean to it~ You just pull at it soo much~ Plus I know you really want to switch positions and since I'm a good I can do that~ So, I'm just helping you because I know you're in denial about being a bottom.**_

_**Oh? Wow, Shizu-chan's happy place is weird~ Wait, if my stuff is here… then does that mean I live there? Ahahaha~ Shizu-chan's happy place involves me~! How cute~~~**_

_Asked by:_

Yuikia  
>314/12 . chapter 7

Hello~ For sure it's quite a achievement, this is the first blog I've reviewed here, on fanfiction ^^

I just like your character so much and find you so amusing that I had to do it xD

I've got a few questions by myself ^^

1. Purely hypothetical, what do you think would happen if Shizuo would actually catch you in Ikebukuro in public?

2. What is the worst wound you've ever had?

3. Have you ever tried stomping Shizuo's phone? (A stupid one, I know XD And I'm definitely not suggesting anything xD [but Shizuo's face would be priceless xD ])

4. How are you moving so agile? TAT I'm kinda jealous, haha

5. ... I'm gonna regret it... But can I hug you? XD

_**Why, hello there my lovely human~ Ah? Well, there is another one on here, actually. Shizu-chan has his own, I suppose you can go check it out, I mean, I can't stop you *ominous chuckle*. I'm glad I have yet another fan. Go ahead~**_

_**1. If he did catch me? Well, I'd just do something unexpected, slip out of his grasp and start the chase again. *laughs***_

_**2. I got stabbed, that's pretty much my worst. It was in a pretty bad place too, it sucked, the hospital, I couldn't observe my humans at all~ TT A TT**_

_**3. Oh? Have I~ Yes I have *laughs* and his expression was so funny~ You should have seen it. AHAHAHAHAH~**_

_**4. How? Well, I work out a lot, plus, I have lots of time and opportunities to train and practice. *smirks***_

_**5. Of course, my lovely human, my arms are open~ *arms open, welcoming, smirking***_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you all for the lovely questions~ Keep them coming my lovely humans! I love you all~! except you, shizu-chan. *laughs*<strong>_


	9. I'm adorable and caveman talk

_Asked by:_

HakumeiTwinBlade  
>317/12 . chapter 8

Kyu? That sounds cute to me :3 Anyway stupid question time! *Throws confetti into the air* What would you do if vampires really did exist? Do you know the anime Black Cat?

_**Kyu? That doesn't sound like a language I know/ Stupid question time? How fun~~! What would I do? Capture one and make it do my bidding, I'll be able to finally fire Namie~! Black Cat? I've heard of it... can't say I've seen it.**_

_Asked by:_

Yuikia  
>315/12 . chapter 8

Well, I already visited Shizuo's blog, but I hadn't got an idea what to write =w=' Sorry.

Well, in hospitals there also are people, like nurses or doctors or patients, so it wasn't that bad I think ^^ By the way, you gave me idea for a question... What would you do if people dissapeared?

For sure *chuckles* I can imagine it ^^ Now I wanna see a photo xD

Really? *blinks few times and hapilly smiles* Yay~~ ^_^ *hugs happily*

Aaaand~~ Here goes another questions - what was the hardest thing you had to do in your job?

And what pet would you choose?

_**Oh? Well, tell Shizu-chan I said hi, mkay? *smiles* **_

_**True… but still, with the enemies I have I'd be a target, plus, I have Shinra to fix me up if needed ^ - ^**_

_**Oh? If people disappeared? Well, I'd still have Shizu-chan and Celty, right? I'd just tease Shizu-chan till oblivion~**_

_**A photo? Ahahaha~ Sorry, but that's classified. It's safely in my safe. *chuckles***_

_**Of course~ *holds arms out and hugs, pets head* **_

_**That hardest thing to do in my job? Probably stay alive, when you're an informant, you have a lot of enemies, especially when you're one who is so thorough, like me. Still, it really isn't all that hard, for me, anyway. **_

_**Pet? Probably a cat, they're clean, they don't make noise, they like fish~ They're the best animal out there.**_

_Asked by:_

xKireyy  
>315/12 . chapter 8

Okay I have a question that I've been waiting like forever to ask D:

How did you become an informant broker? it doesn't seem like an easy thing xD

_**How? By being the best and practicing my skills. It's hardly an easy thing. I started off with the small things, as you do and eventually my name was known around town and I grew to be quite popular~**_

_Asked by:_

Observator-kun  
>315/12 . chapter 8

Well hello there Izaya kun! *smile*

I really love you and Shizuo since you guys are so unique! *angelic smile*

Here is my questions!

1) Do you love humans reaction toward unpredictable things just like me?

Their reactions are so fun to observe that I startle them with whatever I come up with! *angelic smile*

2) I understand why you love humans any comments?

As for me I am very happy to find someone that understands *smile brightly*

3) I usually observe human while sitting in a park or plaza where people gathers however its not very effective got any tips?

4) want to trade informations with me?

Well then I gladly wait for your next update *bright smile*

_**Hello there, observatory-kun~ Oh? How wonderful to hear, well, the me part. I'm not so sure about Shizu-chan~ ;; **_

_**Of course, I love human reactions~ Although, you have the question all wrong! It's obvious that YOU are copying ME *grins* be sure to remember that. How fun~ ***_

_**I love them all equally, oh, and I suppose you should know that I do not like to share them…*eyes glint dangerously* at all.**_

_**Try up high, a good vantage point is always good.**_

_**Hmm, what kid of information do you have? *arches brow***_

_**Thank you for your questions, observatory-kun~**_

_Asked by:_

shinohime-chan  
>315/12 . chapter 8

:D aaaaawwww...ur denial is so cute...such denial about ur not a god and how u supposedly dont lurv shizu-chan is sooooo cute~! don't worry izaiza i won't make a bad you for anime vegas! *glomps* hnnnggg why u so huggable?

D: you wont eat teh almonds? why? chocalte is good in small amounts and almonds are good for u~!

lol question time!

how fun is it trolling kida-chan? srsly hun he hates u...its funny

and better yet have u ever trolled mikado-chan and anri-chan *coughHATETHATPARASITEcough*

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww u love shizu-chan u love shizu-chan *pinches cheecks* u are so adowable!

_**In denial? I believe you've misunderstood. *chuckles* I, the great Izaya Orihara, is not in denial about anything. *frowns and sighs* I don't love shizu-chan, at all. That's good, it would be terrible if you did. Why? Well, because I love my humans of course~**_

_**Well, I'm not really hungry right now… *filing nails***_

_**Oh, fun~!**_

_**Oh, it's so fun~ Especially when Anri-chan and Mikado-kun is there~ You should see their faces *troll face* Of course I have~ You expect me not to? *chuckles***_

_**Me in love with Shizu-chan? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~ You humans, you really crack me up. *whipes eye with hands* **_

_***smirks* Of course I am~**_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>316/12 . chapter 8

"Oh? Because you're so rough and mean to it~ You just pull at it soo much~ Plus I know you really want to switch positions and since I'm a god I can do that~ So, I'm just helping you because I know you're in denial about being a bottom."

OH...HAYYAALL NO! *pulls out a gun and shoots you in the face* How do you like THAT?

And... what the hell? I don't even have a dog.. If it were mine, I would've ripped your guts out by now.

Honestly. I don't know how to respond to you anymore. *Sigh* I may as well ask some questions.

1. Have you ever worn nail polish?

2. Will you allow me to paint your nails?

3. Can I put you in a dress?

4. Have you heard of the band Hadouken?

5. What are you eating right now?

6. What's your opinion on Justin Bieber?

7. Doyou think I'm gawgeous and fabulous?

8. Am I annoying you yet?

9. Are koala bears really bears?

10. Do you find the word "fag" offensive?

11. Am I annoying you now?

12. What would you do if I slapped your ass in public?

13. How about now?

14. Have you ever been to summer camp?

15. I'm dying to know... You're not the one who started the pairing of me and my brother, are you?

AM I ANNOYING YOU YET, EEHZIEYAH-KOON?

_***laughs* Shizu-chan~ You can't even tell a real gun for a fake one? Or, maybe you can and you just don't have the guts to shoot me. *smirks* Either way, it doesn't matter~ I'm still here and you're still mad~! *laughs* How did you like it?**_

_**Oh, well, it really doesn't matter, it looked sick anyway, it had like… one leg left…**_

_***files nails***_

_***smirks* that's because you love me, right? *troll face***_

_**Oooh, questions~ Bring it on Shizu-chan~**_

_**1. Of course, who do you think you're taking to? I used to wear it all the time in high school.**_

_**2. If you'll behave and be nice, then yes. Oh, and speaking of paint, your roots are showing again. Want me to help you dye them again?**_

_**3. Depends on what kind *waggles eyebrows suggestively***_

_**4. No. Why?**_

_**5. You. Ahaha, kidding~ I'm eating Ootoro.**_

_**6. He's a twelve year old girl in disguise, gosh Shizu-chan, so behind in the news~**_

_**7. You forgot Sexy~**_

_**8. Nope *grinning***_

_**9. No, they are marsupials.**_

_**10. Do you find the word "fag" offensive?**_

_**11. Am I annoying you now?**_

_**12. What would you do if I slapped your ass in public? (you, me, dark alleyway *winks*)**_

_**13. How about now?**_

_**14. Yes, remember when we all went on that school one? You got your head stuck in a tree and I left you out there, stranded. *laughs***_

_**15. *sighs and shakes head* Shizu-chan…I'm not. (I wouldn't let anyone else have you~ You know that.)**_

_**Ah? What was that Shizu-chan? I'm sorry but I can't understand caveman. You'll have to speak in a language I CAN understand.**_

_Asked by:_

Christopher  
>316/12 . chapter 8

Hello Orihara-San, guess what?

Yesterday I sneaked into Heiwajima-san's room and "borrowed" a shirt and a pair of boxers, his smell is really good as I expected! ~ It's a shame I got them a little... dirty, ne? ~ *sly smile* It wasn't my intention but I got carried away ~ since I like Heiwajima-San a lot ~ only thinking that finally I own something from him makes me... *licks his lips slowly* oh nevermind me! ~

Oh I'm a dummy ~ I almost forgot this is a blog dedicated to answer questions, right? haha ~ So tell me, Orihara-San... *narrows his eyes and grins* how does it make you feel? ~

P.S: Next time I should borrow a pair of his glasses? haha ~ what do you think?

_**Hello there Christopher-san. Oh? Did you know? *dangerous glint in his eye, smirking dangerously* Oh? You got them a little dirty, hmm? *dangerous aura* **_

_**Ahahahaha, you're treading on a thin line, human~ You don't seem to understand the rules of territory and possession. *grinning* Oh well, it really doesn't bother me, honestly. Feel free to take whatever of his you want, because, while you're stuck with hand-me-downs I've got the real dead. *smirks and chuckles***_

_**PS. Oh, go ahead~**_

* * *

><p><strong>Everyone, thanks for the questions~ Please excuse me for my mistakes and grammer errors and so forth. Also! If you haven't heard already, from Shizuo's blog, then I shall inform you! Kuro-Cha'Nay'Nay and myself are thinking of making another collab chapter about the gay tribe meetings. We're just wondering what you guys think about that, are you interested? Aye or Nay? So, drop a message or a review to let us know about what you think! Oh, and if you have any suggestions, things you want to see, leave that in the message or review as well!<strong>

**Ok, buy lovelies~**


	10. Strawberry Cream at Shizuchan's

_Asked by:_

Chie-Shire-Cat17  
>328/12 . chapter 9

Ahaha sounds like fun~ Here's some questions, Iza-chan~

1) What would you do if you met some one you knew nothing about and couldn't predict?

2) What would you do if I told you I have a friend who's a afriad of knifes and is a huge fan of yours? Oh wait, I just did... oh well ^-^

3) Do you like pie?

4) Can you guess what I'm eating right now?

5) Would you find it offending if I ran around screaming "Izaya is a stupid, fat idiot and I can troll people 20x better than him."?

6) Would I still be alive if I did that?

7) I'm not human~ ^-^ Can you guess what I am?

Yay~ that's all I want to ask for now. Hey~ Iza-chan, did you know my brother hates your guts? He wants to skewer your head off and feed it to our dog~

_**1. Hmmm, well, that's impossible…unless they're Shizu-chan, but even so…I'd probably hate them and try to kill them. *bright smile***_

_**2. Well, they're a fan, right? I suppose I should help them get over their fear, neh? *chuckles***_

_**3. Not really, they're generally sweet and I dislike sweet foods.**_

_**4. Pie perhaps? *laughs* although, I don't really care anyway.**_

_**5. Well, you'd have to be alive to do that, correct? *starts 'playing' with knife* Let's see what happens if you try, neh?**_

_**6. I think the answer above covers this quite nicely.**_

_**7. a protozoan? No matter what, I'm sure you're beneath me.**_

_**Yes, I did. Please feel free to tell him hi for me~**_

_Asked by:_

Shiki Kuroichou  
>326/12 . chapter 9

Vene tends to lie sometimes. I think it's just because he gets jealous when I talk to others *smiles*

Vene-I-I-I do not!

*pats Vene's head again* Anyway, it's a shame you don't know Joshua-kun already. You two would get along wonderfully! He's usually supposed to stay in Shibuya(he has an important job making sure a certain secondary version of it stays intact and is monitored effectively) but being Joshua, he tends to..wander off when he wishes to. It makes all his little Reapers get confused when he does ^w^ I'll bring him to Ikebukuro some time.

Vene-*frowns, hides from Izaya* I told you he's creepy.

Hush, child. Anyway, next question; is it true at Shinra took a knife for you in high school? Also, how are your sisters doing?

Vene-How you know all this I'll never know...

_**I see, well, jealousy is an interesting emotion. *grins* It controls so much of the human though process, much like greed. *tilts head* Looks like we have a bit of a disagreement going on, neh? *grins* Well, don't let my presence get in the way. *chuckles***_

_**Mm, such a shame. You must introduce us the moment we meet. Oh? Shibuya? Perhaps I could go visit him… I see. Well, I'm sure I'd be able to track him down, regardless. Thank you~ *grins***_

_**Oh? Me, creepy? *laughs* **_

_**Shinra? Well, he did take my knife from me at one stage, but I got it back. However, He never 'took a knife' for me. I did that myself. My sisters? They're fine.**_

_***laughs***_

_Asked by:_

THE Shizuo Heiwajima  
>327/12 . chapter 9

Wow, your answers never cease to piss me off. What do I have to do to you to make you realize how nasty you really are? Like I said, I'm done with you.

*Gets an idea* Wait a minute...

What are three things that black people LOVE?

Are you horny right now? Because I am~. That jacket you're wearing is so FIERCE.

By the way, you look exceptionally hot today...Iza-chan. Hope to see you at my apartment later... I got some strawberry cream just for you...

_**Well shizu-chan, I've had a LOT of practice to get this good~ What do you have to do? Well, I don't think there is anything. *rubs chin* However, you can always try. I love it when you fail~ *smirks***_

_**Ah? Hmm, I don't know Shizu-chan, you tell me.**_

_**. . . . Actually, I am. How did you guess? Wait, animal instincts right? Did you smell the pheromones all the way from Ikebukuro? *laughs before grinning* Well, aren't I just in luck~ Oh? Shizu-chan must really be wanting it, already bringing out the compliments~**_

_**Of course you'll see me. With an invitation like that how can one refuse? *grins and licks lips***_

_Asked by:_

Yuikia  
>328/12 . chapter 9

Okay, that's a good idea for beggining ^^

Hahaha :D Well, other way - what would you do if you were alone in whooooole universe?

Oh, well... I guess I'll live on without it ^_^ Well, I still have my imagination, neh?

Wee~~ Thank you again w *happy*

Hah, is there anything really hard fot you?

Haha, I have a cat :D And they sometimes do noise xD

And another question: Well, isn't it harder for you to get informations if everyone knows who you are?

_**Yes. If I were alone? Hmm, well, assuming I were God, which I would be, then obviously I'd just make my own humans and watch them. Problem solved~**_

_**Perhaps… *dark chuckle* Who knows~ **_

_**You're welcome, human~ Anything for your species. *smiles***_

_**Well, apart from Shizu-chan? No, nothing comes to mind *laughs***_

_**I'm aware, but they don't make obnoxious barking noises that are twenty decibels too loud.**_

_**I suppose so…. However, I'm good at what I do, obviously. Also, if I'm well known, then I can always use that to my advantage. I just make them believe I'm helping them while I'm actually doing the opposite. *laughs* it's actually scary how humans trust me so much.**_


End file.
